I’ve spent a fair proportion of the last 48 hours in waiting rooms. Yesterday, this was to give blood and today for a very different reason. My mother has been diagnosed with cancer and today we went to see her consultant to find out the results of her various scans and tests, and hear what treatment is lined up for her.
In both cases there was a distinct atmosphere amongst the people waiting. We all knew why the others were there, and to a greater or lesser extent shared part of the experience with them. In the donor session you are all undergoing the same procedure for more or less the same reasons, and there is an element of shared identity in the room. We are, after all, all blood donors! The gentleman who had been on the bed next to mine, rummaged through the box of ‘blood group’ keyrings as he enjoyed his post-donation coffee. I noticed that we didn’t share the same blood group, but despite that, and all the other more obvious differences between us, we had one thing in common.
I found the waiting room today a strangely positive place (although with nearly 2 hours of it, I could have done with a little less…) There I was with all these women, all at various stages of undergoing the same or at least similar experiences. Some were obvious regulars. Two appeared to have become friends from just this waiting room experience.
I now realise that a cancer diagnosis in yourself or a loved one can make you feel quite lonely. Everyone does their best, but nobody is experiencing it in quite the same way as you are. However, here were six women who were going through something very similar. What struck me most about them was how alive they were. Some were chatting away, reading recipes from the magazines, discussing their families and so on. Some were just quietly sitting, alone or with partners. All of them, were very much alive, and living with cancer.
For my mother, the news was worth waiting for – probably the most positive we could hope for considering the circumstances, and she’ll start chemotherapy in the next few weeks. I imagine there’ll be many more waiting room opportunities to look forward to over the next few months!
